5 Stuff You’ll Need Everyday

Let’s face it. Everyone can remember how James Bond goes up to see Q at the start of every mission to get all his cool stuff. That invisible car that can do back-flips, those exploding pens, wristwatches with lasers near the dial, extra durable condoms, etc etc… Every once in a while we have the urgent distressing impulse to pack our gear like Bond and go someplace you will never need to use 98% of the items you brought. I remember my 1st trip to Gunung Jerai; had a friend who bulked up on equipment like Rambo. I mean, he brought a big-ass knife and a few equipment we don’t even know what they were for. But he insisted that they would come in useful. We ended up using “Rambo’s” knife to make holes in our beer cans to drink it “Top Gun” style.

But the ONE thing that never fails to amaze me is what people DON’T bring to the places they go. So I have compiled a list of 5 of the most important stuff that you would probably need in daily life and need to keep close.

A Pen
Idiots. If everyone would fucking care to bring a goddamn pen, the world would be a great place. Imagine you standing in a corner in the bank filling out a form. An asshole comes over and asks, “Got pen, ah?”. Normal people would answer “Gimme a moment. Let me finish this 1st.”. Later they would give the asshole then pen, and that guy somehow magically disappears with the pen as soon as the giver-of-the-80sen-pen turns away. People, bring a pen and stop harassing people. Men have breast pockets on shirts. Put it to good use. Ladies have breasts, but no breast pockets, so you can put those pens in ur handbags.

Some sweets, mints or chewing gum
I had a lecturer once, a brilliant Algerian professor. The only problem with him was his breath smelled like T-Rex’s. During all those tutorials where he would lean close to tutor me, I nearly fainted from the toxic smell. He should know that the United Nations is trying to control emissions of noxious fumes. Damn! You never know how is your breath gonna smell like. So it is advisable to pop in some Mentos or Wrigley’s before going up to someone and introducing urself.

Condoms
Both ladies and men…. You’ll never know when are you gonna need it. I know a guy who’s been keeping condoms in his wallet since Form 5. The only problem is that it is still unused. He hasn’t got laid before, but hey, you never know when you’re gonna need it. But the rubber’s probably “stale” now. Dude, if you’re reading this, get some new rubber.

Some reading material
Imagine you going up to KL from Klang by Kommuter. Like I did before I bought my car. A one-hour journey totally wasted. Unless it is a weekend or public holiday where you get to see hot girls riding the train in hot attire. But, let’s say your making ur trip on a Tuesday, to get to an interview (again, like I did). If you have some reading material, at least you’d be easing off some tension and you also dont need to talk to the toothless ‘makcik’ sitting beside you. You will also look sophisticated and spurn interest from sophisticated woman sitting opposite you reading Asiaweek. As long as you don’t read Playboy. Or Doraemon comics. Newspapers and Time magazine is the best.

Business cards
Business cards are very important for you to improve and expand your social networking. Imagine your up in Zouk, KL. You are sitting there drinking with a hot chick, and you really like her. And then she asks for your number. Don’t write your details on a napkin or serviette or a piece of paper. She might use the napkin or serviette to blow her nose later on and smear ur writing. Small pieces of papers go missing easily in pubs and bars. Plus they don’t look sophisticated. Hand her a business card, and she’ll be genuinely interested to have a cup of coffee with a guy she knows has a steady job. If you write your number on a serviette, she might think that you’re one cheap son-of-a-bitch with no job and living off his dad’s money.