The Great Malaysian Football Fiasco

Well, it’s time we Malaysian’s hear all the bullshit and crap that would be coming outta the lying mouths of officials involved in Malaysia’s dismal perfomance in the Asian Cup. Yesterday, we had the President of FAM refusing to back down on his presidency while promising to overhaul the FA of Malaysia. Aisey…. Dear Mr. President, this was heard time and time and time and time and again, yet nothing has been done to properly lift up the pathetic state of Malaysian football. And just like Balajoe said, it’s been 23 years that this same old dialogue has been repeated.

Why oh why? The FAM boss decided he would form another task force to have an inquiry. Damn. With all do respect, don’t these politicians and royalties know that all that inquiries and committes do is to fucking waste the taxpayer’s money? They are all gonna come up with one sorry excuse for being like this and not being like that. Bla bla bla bla… Who the fuck cares? Do the Malaysian people even read those reports? I don’t see the results of most reports even published in local dailies. And even the players have to blamed. What the FUCK have you guys been doing? Bloody wankers! I don’t care if you guys lose, but let’s keep the defeat to a minimum, of, let’s say, 3-goal margin???!!

Now, since this is NOT a political blog, rather more of a humour and satire type, I’d leave the topic in the hands of other bloggers. But wait… I still gotta poke some fun on this stuff rite? C’moooonnn… Kavilan wouldn’t be Kavilan if he didn’t make fun of something somewhere.

So here’s a probable conversation between a father and son in jolly ‘ol London:

Son: Daddy, I wanna grow up and be just like David Beckham. I wanna play for Man United and also represent the Queen as a player in the national team.

Father: That’s my boy. I’m so proud of you, son. Come give your old man a hug! (Tussles son’s Beckham-like hair) There’s nothing like telling everyone that my son is playing for the Three Lions!!! You go get ‘em, son. I’ll be standing by you all the way.

Son: I love you, daddy.

Father: Now, let’s go for a small father-son one-on-one football…

Son: Yayyy!!!

And here’s the probable conversation between a father and son in haze-ridden Kuala Lumpur.

Son: Daddy, I’m quite good at football. I wanna try out for the national team once I’m old enough.

Father: What?! Are you crazy? You wanna get booed and jeered by the fans everytime you step on the pitch?

Son: But dad, I heard FAM has set up a committee to look into those matters. I guess the national team would be revamped. I’ve got a good chance.

Father: Are you joking? Son, I’m 55 years old, and I know bullshit when I see some. Why wou wanna play football? You don’t even earn good money. You’d be better off having a sex change operation for RM 20,000 and earn more money as a transvestite prostitute….

Son: Hmmmm…. (Starts thinking… A lot)

Father: If you play Malaysian football in a “professional” level, I will stab my testicles with my pen and die. Unless you play for MyTeam, coz their not politically involved.

Son: Errr…… Can loan me RM 20,000 ah?

And all this hoo-hah about the Asian Cup has made my favourite football team, Manchester United not being able to play here in Malaysia. Was it fucking worth it??!! I guess not….