To Become Well-Known or Famous

Everybody wants to be famous. We just don’t care how, but we wanna be well known. Though no one wants to be famous in a bad way. Like having your face plastered on the TV saying “Escaped Deranged Psychopath Criminal”. Nope. We wanna be famous in a good way. At least be “famous” or well known among your peers. We want recognition. But how do we achieve such wantings? Fear and wonder no more! I have compiled a list of stuff you can do to be well known, either in a small scale (famous among your friends) or a large scale (famous in the world or you country).

• Become a porn star.

If you are a guy and you wanna have fame and fortune while enjoying yourself, become a pornstar. Go act in some western porn. Or open up your own website. Go fuck some horny chicks and hey, presto! You are rich AND famous! Do you think Ron Jeremy installed 5 jacuzzis in his mansion by just selling “nasi lemak”? Nooooo!!! Just one warning. Don’t stay in Malaysia. You might be charged in court for I dunno what. The irony is, the people who charge you have probably wanked off watching your porno acts.

• Act crazy slightly.

This is a good way to be well known among your peers. I knew a guy in secondary school who use to whack his head with a broom handle to show his strength. Everyone knew him. There was this guy back in my uni who once smelled like a sweaty pig and told stories of how he would like to smuggle cannabis in a submarine throught the Kuala Muda river. Genius. Half of my uni knew him. Just go off the beaten track, and I guarantee people will know you. Everywhere they will be like: “Hey look! It’s the screwball!!!”

• Do some unprecedented bad-boy heroics.

This is usually the method that would get guys some free loving by other horny women around him. This involves some minor action, so if you are not prepared for some injuries, this is not your type of move. For example, if you are in Japan and Godzilla attacks, instead of running away like everyone, stand in one place. Throw a rock at that giant lizard. Yell some profanities at the top of you voice, like “I not afraid-o of you, Gojira-san! I will kick-o your ass-o! Now, leave-o our Japan-o!”. It might also help to show a finger to Godzilla. Chicks dig this bad-boy attitude.

• Be generous and good-hearted.

Yeah. Everyone knows the Dalai Lama. Coz he is a good man. A good heart. You can also be well-known by being very generous. Like if you are in a uni or college, and you smoke, head out to the smoking spot packing two packs of Dunhill 20s. Then offer some cigarettes to all those cheap bastards who are to stingy to buy their own fags. Make some small talk. Do this for 2 days. On the 3rd day, people you don’t even know their names will approach you to ask for ciggies. By the 5th day, the whole smoking population at campus will know that you’re the loser who’s been offering ciggies for losers like them.