Some Freakin’ Facts About Me

Many people wonder, how do I post a variety of topics in my blog? They want to know more about me. I’ve had comments and emails and PMs asking me about this. So, I thought, what the heck. I’ll do a tell-all post today. Yup. It’s all things (i.e.: some things) you would wanna know bout dear ol’ Kavi. So, on with the questions

• Are you crazy? Some people say that you are eccentric.

Yes motherfucker, I sure am. With me, you can define crazy as having an infinite amount of laughter stored in my ever growing belly. I am also diabolically crazy, so if you tend to fuck with me, I won’t punch your fat face. Instead, I will scheme and plan something dastardly and screw you without you knowing it was me. That way, you can blame karma.

• Why did you go study in AIMST? There are many colleges and universities in Selangor for you to do a degree in IT.

I didn’t wanna fucking stay in Selangor, or with my parents during the time I thought I would wanna overdo my bouts of drinking, smoking ciggies, smoking weed and fucking around. That’s why I ran away 300km to the north, where visits would be confined to only once a year. Plus it was a whole lotta cheaper than medicine in the UK.

• Why are do you seem to be growing horizontally at a geometric rate?

Coz I am having a lame routine life with lots of home cooked food and no exercise. Period.

• Why do some of your posts seem political? What is someone doesn’t like them? Aren’t you afraid of all those acts they’re enforcing?

My political views are sometimes very touchy to some people, to which if asked the question “Would you please stop writing these? I don’t like them”, I would reply to them “Yeah… Go kiss a gorilla, you narrow-minded vulture.” I try to infuse humour in my political shit so that the patrolling cyber troopers might laugh and shit at the same time. Sometimes they are too dumb to understand the hidden meaning that they simply pass. I don’t give a rat’s ass.

• Are you really so knowledgable in real life?

No. I do this for fun. In real life, I stutter in front of girls and make dumb jokes about pink elephants. I’m like Jason Todd, and this blog is my Batsuit. Confusing? Of course! What a dumb question to ask me? Of course I am knowledgable in real life. You think sit here typing with a thesaurus and a copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica by my side?

• Why are you sarcastic sometimes? Especially in your method of humour?

This is to ensure I can get my point across to my readers. We NEED sarcastic humour. We all do. Imagine saying this to a person: “I am going to shoot you, sir. Please brace youself”. Now try this: “I’ma gonna bust a cap in your sorry ass till you shit last week’s dinner. Happy dying, bitch!”. Now compare the two. Which one would make the listener really listen? Of course the 2nd one. I rest my case.