How To Be The Star of Any Party

Have you ever went to a party, and are ignored by most of the crowd? Fear not. I give you 5 steps to make sure that you WILL be the center of attention. Though I do not promise on whether it would be positive or negative attention, I do promise that you will get SOME attention. Some people may give you their name cards. Others may call you names. Some might wanna sleep with you. And perhaps some might also wanna murder you.

1. Drink alcohol.
If you are drinking rose syrup and trying to initiate a conversation, chances are that you will not be heard. People might even think you are invisible. Have some alcohol in your bloodstream, and woohoo! You might not even shut the fuck up! You can blabber enthusiastically and confidently about shit you don’t even know about. You will be so animated that people will be transfixed on you actions and words. Even if the party doesn’t serve booze, try to guzzle down some before you get to the party.

2. Lie incessantly.
No one wants to know that Pluto has been declared as a non-planet. Boooooo! It’s boring. The real thing people wanna hear is made-up stuff. The alcohol eases up your ability to lie. Try talking about how you fought a grizzly bear with only a hunting knife when you got lost in the Serengeti National Park. No one will give a shit about thinking twice on whether this fact is true or false. Try showing them a scar that you got the time when you fell off your BMX bike at age 15. All you would hear is “Oooooohs” and “Aaaaaaahs”.

3. Be defensive.
Now, there WILL be some jackass from Harvard or University Malaya who will come up and tell you “Serengeti is in Africa. There are no grizzlies in Africa.” You need to save yourself from embarrassment. So, the natural thing to do is to be defensive and DO NOT allow the argument to continue further. Make HIM embarrassed. Try saying “Oh yeah! Hey look everyone! Einstein here is trying to prove a point.” Then look at him and say “So now you think everyone in this room is an idiot, huh?” I can guarantee that the whole crowd will laugh with you and that smart pick can go shove his face in the trash can.

4. Let the music roll.
Liven up the party by playing some music. Never mind about the host. Fuck him. Or her. Play some samba songs and start a conga line. Grab the ass of the hottest chick/guy there and go around like a choo-choo. Maybe play some Timbaland and start frisking around. Make enough noise till the neighbours look around. If you’re in a bar/pub, start putting on your best moves. Dance like you’ve got epilepsy. No one gives a shit in a bar/pub coz of the dim lights.

5. Start exchanging contact details.
If you find a person from the opposite sex who is attractive enough, try hitting on them Surely by now, you’re the party’s pulse. You will immediately get some nookie tonight. Hook up with some persons from the same sex maybe for some great business deals or even better, an invitation to MORE parties. Just make sure you don’t puke all the alcohol before you get home.