Flashback of An Interview

I remember an interview i went a few weeks b4 i got my current job. It was for some helpdesk position in a big IT company. I mean BIG. Big but too fucking cheap. Coz they dont even have a HR dept; they hire a staffing agency to manage their HR. They’re either cheap or lazy. I wont accept any other reasons as I am a brutish idiot who doesnt care to learn about these kinds of shit.

Neways, during all those days wen i didnt have my trusty Proton Iswara to transport my ass all over town, i hopped on a bus, took the Komuter and then the Monorail to reach this staffing agency. I waited for bout 30mins before they called me in. Okay, this is ur chance. Blow their brains out with ur remarkable knowledge and witty remarks. As i gave my farewell to the receptionist wit the low-cut blouse, i was ushered to a cubicle. Geez. These guys were gonna interview me in a cubicle. Cheap bastards.

My interviewer came. “hello. Ur Kailan, rite?”. “eermmm, my name’s KA-VI-LAN.” “Oh sorry. Hehehe. So Kavilan, are you ready for your test?”.

wait a fucking minute. the lady on the fone told me it was an interview. damn. i tot i was done with tests bk wen i finished writing the answers for my final semester exams in AIMST. apparently, these people dont know us AIMSTers. We’re allergic to exams. Mostly bcoz the management alwiz manages to screw wit our timetable and holidays. Assholes. (sorry i sidetracked a bit). Neways, wat the heck. I’d just decided to keep mum and and take the test.

“you need to complete 4 tests in 30 mins”. Great. I just restrained from rolling my eyes coz they were fixed intently on the receptionist wit the low-cut blouse. And so i grabbed my trusty Pilot pen and digged straight into the tests.

Damn. the questions were tough. “what is the exact proportion of flour against cheese in a regular sized, stuffed crust Hawaiian Chicken pizza?” hmmmm… I wrote down Col. Sanders as the answer. Next question. “what do u call the person who married ur grandpa?”. Again, how the fuck shud i know? I didnt attend their damn wedding la…. mayb i’d get the next one correct. “Give one reason for us to call u up for the interview should you do badly in these tests.” Hmmm… My answer: The receptionist with low-cut blouse.

There. After about 20mins answering questions, I raised my hands. I needed extra paper. Damn. Old AIMST habits die hard. The “interviewer” came by. “err, mr.kavilan, u dont need to raise ur hand. U cud’ve just called on me. Im sitting right beside u.” “heheh.. i need more paper please”, i quipped. “U idiot, these are MCQ tests.”

Bummer. I left the tests on the table after the 30mins time ended. “We’ll call u if u’ve been shortlisted for our interview session.” Well, that’s that. I left wit a big grin with confidence.

They DID call me back for an interview. Apparently i scored very well in the IQ test. Mayb the other candidates were 10-yr-old kids. I dont care. The interview went fine. I was referred to another interview in another BIG company. To which i went. And saw another receptionist wit an even deeper plunging neckline. I asked for her number. She willingly gave it to me. But sadly, i’ve failed in reaching her. Mayb her fone is out. I even committed the number to memory. Its 1-800-NO-CHANCE.