3 Ways to Make MPs Do What We Want

Now, since the election commission dude actually said he knew the exact date for elections, we can safely presume it’s gonna be soon enough. But, we do have the problem of having a crappy selection of candidates who are running for office. We can’t even see a selection of properly educated nuts trying to run in elections. All we have are clowns from secondary schools, polytechnics, and the rare bunch of UM or UKM graduates with their Bachelor of Arts, coupled with the even much rarer crop of candidates with at least a Bachelor of Science degree or a Masters degree. But we all know that these people never actually TRULY speak for the majority (in some cases, the minority) voices. So I have a few far-fetched ideas on how to make that happen. Just goes to show about the amount of free time i have in my hand.

• Capture the bastards, and clone them.

This method is highly effective, as I do not actually harm the fucktard MPs. The clones are bound to me, and they will be doing MY bidding. Maybe finally some Never-Ending Policies can be removed. Of course, this method is quite hard to execute since human cloning technology hasn’t exactly been perfected.

• Mind control them

This would be great, as I can make those mindless freaks to do exactly what I want them to do. Kinda funny actually. My first order of the day would be making Son In Law and that Nazi Ass-is buttfuck each other in Dataran Merdeka. Next, Mr. Semi Value would be actually patching up the cracks by himself in ALL KL flyovers. Then comes Mr. MaChAi himself, to start ‘kow-tow’ing to the people instead of the “others”, until his spine shatters. Sheeeesh. I broke my mind control device last week. Too bad huh?!

• Implant miniscule C4 charges up their anus.

Taken from Denzel Washington’s Man on Fire. But the amount wouldn’t blow them up to bits. A small enough amount to explode in their butts to give them a shooting pain everytime they fart or shit. Hehehehehe… I’m a sicko. Then we can blackmail those fellars into doing some stuff.

Anyone has a better idea? Coz we know “educating” them or having a “campaign” would only waste our money AND time.

PS: Not ALL MP’s are bad and should be treated this way and not ALL Bachelor of Arts graduates suck