The Day That Really Brought Me Down

I’m sitting here at the office with a terrible case of the sniffles. My nose feels like it’s gonna blow up. My nasal cavities feels like it’s bloated. And I’m running a slight temperature. Ok, it’s not so slight. And I feel woozy.

Damn, I am aledi feeling woozy. Yesterday was a crappy day. I took the day off just to attend an event that might have been the catalyst for a big change in my life. After about 2 hours, the event ended, leaving me drained emotionally. I had a lot of thoughts running in my mind. It made me think about my chosen career path. A weakness I had in my area of expertise was exposed. A weakness I didn’t know I had.

I sat down in my car for 15 minutes, fagging away, lost in thoughts. Honestly, this was the first time I had doubted myself on my skills and abilities. I admit, it was my own shortcoming. Well, at least it was a big awakening slap to me. I now know which area of my knowledge should be polished up. Hey, I’m still only 23 (going on 24 this October). It takes a lot to bring my self-confidence down. Those of you who know me can attest to my stubborn attitude. But yesterday, I felt crappy. The manner of what had taken place was the prime factor of my downtrodden feeling.

As soon as I reached home, Mom asked about the details. I explained that I didn’t have a good feeling about what happened. And by the look on her face, I knew she understood me. Now, I don’t have an all lovey-dovey family relationship. I fight with my parents alot, on differing opinions. But yesterday, Mom really listened to me.

Dad came home later in the evening asking me what happened at the “event”. You see, it was his friend who had gave me a recommendation to attend the “event”. That guy also mentioned that he owed my dad a lot of things, and that’s why he helped me with that recommendation. Honestly, the only reason I went to that “event” was so that my dad wouldn’t lose face to his friend due to my rebellious behaviour.

I explained to Dad about everything. And I told him how I felt about committing myself to the organisers of the “event”. My dad calmly told me that it’s my future, and if I don’t feel so happy about doing such things, then I shouldn’t do it. He told me not to worry and keep on trying for better days. I never felt so relaxed after a conversation with my parents.

I came to work this morning with the usual lame smile across my fat cheeks. I had my appraisal with the bosses at 11am. 30 minutes later, I walked out of the meeting room feeling good for myself. I have struck a good rapport with some people I didn’t expect to.

This stubborn prick not going to give up. Fuck them faggots. I’m gonna come out stronger. But first, I gotta go take my Clarinase and clear up this flu.