Things To Do For Your Lady Love

This is kinda like a repost, since I’m just a big lazy ass airhead. But hey, it’s Valentine’s eve, and I’m sure some of you guys are wondering what to do for your respective women. And I’m so so sure that some of you guys are on the lookout (i.e. ON THE HUNT) for a potential candidate to make those lonely days go away. And with the help of a fren, Shavani (who coincidentally is my co-author for this site who has disappeared from the face of the earth many moons ago), we have compiled a list of nice and sweet things to do for your lady love. It ain’t all exactly Valentine’s Day recipes, but why should we take this one day to show our love, instead of every other day???

The first 3 are the stuff that I did for my 1st love, and the rest are Shavani’s recommendations (from a woman’s point of view)

If your sweet lady lives near you or at the same residential area, nothing would keep her smiling throughout the day like a bunch of flowers for her in the morning. But don’t engage a florist or anything. Go around your housing area, and try plucking lowers from the ones planted along the sidewalks or gardens of other residents. One stalk of flower from one patch would be sufficient. Wrap them up with some wrapping paper or some clear plastic from home and greet her with it early on. Just make sure you don’t get chased by dogs while plucking flowers from someone else’s house like I did. Ahhhh… nostalgic university memories.

Sometimes, the simplest things are taken for granted by men. If there is something that she wants, try to give it to her. No matter if you don’t have the logistics or the faintest idea on how to grant her wishes. For example, if she wants to go watch a movie in Penang and you are studying in a university in Kedah, and you are a dip-shit loser with no car and stupid pick-up lines, promise her that you would take her to that movie. She would know that you are a dip-shit loser and you can’t keep that promise. But that’s where she’s wrong coz you can show her that you CAN do those stuff for her. By hook or by crook, get a damn friend to help for Pete’s sake, and bring her to that movie, and before you know it, you would be walking along the Feringghi Beach holding hands with you sweater jacket protecting her from the cold breeze.

Feeding a woman can be very rewarding. Give her something unexpected in terms of food. But here’s the twist: do the cooking yourself. Again, you might be a dip-shit loser. Get some fucking cooking lessons, will ya? You have ASTRO at home right? Jamie Oliver and Keith Floyd aren’t there for nothing. Learn to cook. Take time off to prepare a nice meal, even though it is simple. Enlist the help of her friends (or housemates) to distract her. Women LOVE men cooking for them. Lay the table, light up a pair of pink candles, open up a bottle of wine (cheap wine or sparkling juice will do if you’re cash-strapped) and have a simple but romantic evening.

Don’t ALWAYS give her gifts just coz other dudes are doing it. Okay, this may sound cruel to the women but this is serious shit. A girl always likes to comment on how other people’s bf tend to do stuffs for the gfs: “Her bf bought her this shades, Her bf the other day gave her a watch!! Omg! U know what her bf gave her???!” Then the girl gives up expecting anything from her bf. When the expectation dies, that’s when you should present her with something sweet. i.e. earrings, a simple chain, a box of nice chocolates, a cute top.. You might not realize it but she’ll love u a hundred times more upon receiving it from you. Coz you’re not simply out there to PLEASE her. You’re just being yourself and that’s what she likes. A man of his own mind. And life.

Take her for a walk. Yes. A simple thing. Walking. It not only makes her happy but it’s also good for your health. Ok, health issues aside. Do it in a creative way. Ask her, like you’re gonna propose to her, “Dear Sally (no, I’m not Harry), would you like the honor of taking a walk with me on this beautiful night?” She’s definitely going to laugh at your face, thanks to your cheesy line. BUT. Inside her heart, she’ll already be melting, thinking what kinda sweet guy she’s gotten hold of. Oh yeah. While taking a walk, always remember:

• Hold her hands (till your palms get sweaty) (once its dried, hold hands again)
• Choose a route where you won’t bump into your friends & lose your “macho” status and get teased for a month.
• Don’t walk along the houses of the beautiful, hot chicas. Once they see you walking with another girl, they’ll be thinking what kinda loving guy you are & will hate/despise you instantly the moment you even TRY to hit on them.

Fix things around her house. When she complains that the bathroom light is not working, just say “Hahahahahaha. That’s why, bathe laa for 2 hours each time. Which light won’t spoil?” and then, hurry to the nearest kedai runcit & buy a ’starter’. Then go over to her house & say you wanna use the washroom & then complain, “Haiyo! Stupid light.”. Then get a stool, get on it, make sure it’s the starter’s fault & change it. (It ALSO works for other simple-to-repair objects). You’ll give her a lil bit sense of security coz she now thinks she can depend on you in case anything goes wrong, not only in her kitchen or washroom, but in her life. (Plus point: You earn scores with her friends too! )

Don’t check out hot chicks just to simply make her jealous. No, really. However difficult it may seem, TRY your level best to NOT check out a supppaahhh-hott chick until YOUR gal notices her first. It’s easier checking them out then.
Example:
Hot girl walks into the cafe. You’ve already noticed her. Try to minimize your conversation with your gf and look at the opposite direction, like you’re looking for someone. Gf will then turn to this side (where the hot chica is walking) & alert you instead.

“B, don’t look now but see that side.. there’s this damn hot chick laaa..in red..”
THEN. You, casually, go like, “Huh? Where??”
Then, you proceed to check that hot chica WITH your gf’s permission. Utilize the given access nicely.
THEN. You say, “Not thaaaaaat hot also la…”
She’ll insist that the chick IS hot. Let her argue.
At that moment, you just hold her hands & say, “Whatever la, sayang. Let her be. You’re all that I want, you sexything.”

She’ll melt. And probably iron 1-2 shirts of yours.

Write her a goddamn love letter for heaven’s sake! No, women don’t want pages & pages of poetry. They just want a simple bloody letter from you! It’s not thaaaaat difficult, is it? Many guys tend to imagine writing a love letter akin to writing a thesis report. Don’t know how to start? Here, here’s a few tips.

• Take an empty piece of paper (CLEAN paper. Not discarded paper from your faulty printer.)
• Find a pen that won’t run out of ink.
• Write, “To my dearest girlfriend <insert name/nickname>
• Then, just think of what about her that first comes into your mind. Go on, write, “You know, your smile always makes my day. There’s something about that cheeky look you have when you smile. Which just seems to elevate all my troubles from my mind. You casting a spell on me or what arr!!”
• Yes, make it sound as original as possible. And realistic, please.
• SET your mind on the theme of your letter. Don’t mix up everything into one. It can be funny, seriously-romantic, sexually-exciting, boring (that probably happens to those who aren’t creative) or even cute+sweet. If it’s going to be a sexually-intense letter, then start it off with how “that dress you wore last night…”. Don’t say “You take my troubles away when I’m depressed” and then immediately continue with how you wanna strip her off her clothes. It will make you sound like a psycho.

PS: Shavani is very much well and alive on the face of the earth. She is just buried under a big pile of medical books and assignments and dog-tired from her classes.