Loveless

Loveless. Sounds kinda weird to call yourself as one. It’s like you can’t fell love eh? Well, for the sake of brevity, let’s define “loveless” as the lack of having a companion where you throw around the word “love” all the time, in regards to each other. ** Brevity, my foot! ** Anyways, I can be considered as loveless right now. Coz I ain’t having a girlfriend right now. Or a boyfriend for that matter. Not that I swing that way, but just for the sake of our conversation here. Ooooppss… Not our conversation, but MY MONOLOGUE.

My best friend, Black, recently coupled up with a girl. It’s his first serious relationship, not that he’s a playboy or anything, but he just hadn’t found the right person all these while. Finally, after all these years of us chiding him non-stop, Black finally opened his heart out to someone. I was frankly quite very happy with Black. After all, the Bachelor Society in our gang was crumbling and no longer has enough members to speak loudly. Black was now a member of the Doubles Society.

It has now come to a point where there are only 2 of us who are REALLY, REALLY non-dating. Me and Shortz are working, and frankly, at such an early point in our careers, there doesn’t seem to be a need having a girlfriend, or so to speak. I shall leave Shortz out of this context, as I do not know what is really going on in his mind. About me, well, let’s just say I’m kinda like standing in crossroads, not knowing where to go.

Is there really a pressing need for having a girlfriend here? Or is it just the peer pressure that’s blinding the eyes from reality? Hard to say. At some points, there is a nagging voice whispering on lonely periods about the need for a female companion at this age. At other times, the same voice echoes the mark of individual freedom from satisfying a woman’s every whims and needs. Two very contradicting schools of thought which seem right for two very different situation.

I’m having a bit too much fun with rhetorical statement and philosophical thoughts, aren’t I?

It was when my grandmother asked me about a girlfriend that made me really feel my “loveless”-ness. She asked me whether did I have anyone special, like a girlfriend. When I said no, imagine my surprise when she advised me better look for one as soon as possible, coz once you’re older, it gets harder. I was like, “What The Fuck”?! I said I was only 24, and there’s plenty of time to get me a girlfriend. All she did was smile and tell me that I ain’t gonna be 24 for long, and by the time I know it, it’s gone. I just smiled, not knowing what to say.

It’s not like I’m averse to women, nor that women despise me. Ladies actually like me a lot. My only problem is, I don’t get to meet as many girls as I used to. At the time which I did meet a lot of them, I was content with partying and socializing, never thought of settling down after the failure of my first serious relationship. I enjoyed “bachelorhood” to the max, but now, the walls are getting close.

Black was one of the few super close buddies that I have. But now that he’s gotta carefully divide his time between his friends and his girl, I’ll be seeing lesser of him, of course. Not that I’m jealous. That would be very, very weird. It has just served as a reminder to me that I too need a companion just to offset the semi-lost companionship.

So, for now, it’s still going solo for me. Just gotta wait till the right one catches my eye.

And oh, applications also accepted. Interview consists of one lunch/dinner date, optional movie date, and a few surprise activities, with all costs borne by me.