Life Is Great Being A Guy

This post can perhaps be called as a counter-post to Ammu’s latest one. Nah… I’m not trying to lambast her or anything. Just that I am high and dry out of ideas and her post gave me an inspiration to do this one. Gosh, it’s so great to be a guy.

So, here I am, awake. Alarm rings at 6.55am. Go turn on the hot water shower, and wait for it to fill up the big pail. Set the alarm for 7.05am and catch a quick sleep.

Alarm rings again. Give a big ass yawn, scratch balls, remove crust from eyes, scratch butt cheeks, grab towel, go into the bathroom. Come out still looking like a car wreck, but who gives a shit?

Open up wardrobe cupboard. Hmmmmm…. Just grab the black shirt. It’s not like I have a 84 shirts and have to choose between navy blue and royal blue or pink and fuschia. Blue is blue goddamnit! Neways, I grabbed the black one coz it was ironed. Well, it looked ironed.

Hmmmmm… Put on my new undies. Boy, was that cheap! 5 pairs for RM 19.90. Put on that black jeans, and magnifico! A matching attire! Black jeans or slacks goes wit anything! Put on that black socks, and I’m all set. Now for some grooming. A bit wet-look hair gel and the use of my hands. Taadaaaaa! Hair all set, in 10 seconds flat!

Now what shoe shall I wear? Yep, as always, no need to choose between 428 pairs. Just put on the black leather shoes or that Nike sneakers that I wear for futsal games, movie outings, dinner dates, gym sessions, etc. Whichever pair that’s nearest to me.

Jump in the car. No hassle of carrying multiple bags. Coz I don’t carry any bad. I have a large storage space for all the stuff I need for work. It’s called MY CAR. Back out of driveway, say goodbye to Mom, and off I go!

Traffic jam, as usual. Nahhh.. Just chill. Put on Tamil kutthu* songs in CD player. Sing along and headbang in car. Person in the car to the left and right stare at me, bewildered. So what? I don’t give a shit! I keep on going “NaakaMuuka NaakaMuuka NaakaMuuka NaakaMuuka NaakaMuuka!!!!!!!!!!!”** like there’s no tomorrow.

30 mins later, I reach the hotel. I’m still 25 minutes early. Waltz in through the doors, say Good Mornings to every girl I see, flirt around with some, give stylish mini-salutes to the men. Get into the office, give out a looooonggg “Waaasssssuuuuuupppppp?!!” to Jeremy, high five, and plop into my desk. Bitch about a pigheaded asshole working in a different department, make some jokes, and settle into work.

Isn’t it wonderful being a guy?

*kutthu songs - songs with fast Indian percussion beats made for heavy dancing

**NaakaMuuka - an incomprehensible Tamil song released a while back which makes any Indian person long to dance