Listening To Your “Secret” Songs

I was caught. I was embarrased. I had no chance of escape, and now, I’m gonna get fucked.

Don’t let your minds wander, kids. I got caught listening to some songs that, well, I wouldn’t wanna be caught dead listening to. NO, they’re not songs riddled with expletives. Nooooo… They are much more worse than that. They are the songs that perhaps can be categorised as your own stash of “secret songs”. And being a male, these songs are considered, errrr…, what’s the word I’m looking for now? HAH! Queer! Songs that would make you appear queer.

Lemme explain the whole shenanigan that took place. My friend stumbled upon my secret playlist. Songs that I will only listen with the headphones on. Songs that are considered only good for females in a romantic mood. Songs that I am afraid to let the world know that I am listening to. Songs that… well, you get the picture.

Why am I telling you guys this? Coz Kavilan ain’t a pansy. After some pointless numbskulls’s argument, my friend made a bet with me that I don’t have the balls to expose this on my blog. Apparently I also need to publish the list of songs that he chooses from my playlist, AND let everyone in my MSN contact know what I am listening to, by turning on the “Show What I’m Listening To” option. Hmmmph. I ain’t the one to back down on easy feats such as this, so here it goes, folks!

Some of the songs from my “secret” list:

I Can’t Smile Without You by Barry Manilow

This song was perhaps made famous by the movie Hellboy 2. I was listening to it even before that. It sure doesn’t help that most men think that listening to Barry Manilow makes you a homosexual. 

My defense - Most men have never been in love. *** sensitive part of me is doing the talking ***

Dancing Queen by Abba

Even the 1st one on the list here is enough to make people laugh at me uncontrollably. The mind is willing, but the eardrums are weak. I somehow have my university flashback of my dance performance while listening to this song. I imagine it as Dancing King.

My defense - I have no defense in this case. I deserve to be crucified

Megham Karukudhu from the Tamil movie Kushi

This is the heroine introduction song. She displays an all-out girly behaviour during the scenes. Chasing butterflies, bathing in waterfalls, splashing water with her friends, and a whole lot of giggles.

My defense - I chase butterflies, catch ‘em, and dip them in formaline. I do cannonballs in waterfalls, and I splashed whiskey in my friend’s face once. I giggle uncontrollably when I’m drunk. Kapish?!

Crazy by Britney Spears

When it’s Britney Spears, you simply can’t escape from being jeered at. Look at what happened to Chris Crocker. Somehow, this song doesn’t seem that bad. Except for Britney’s “ooooo yeah yeaayyyy” thingy she does. *** You Drive Me Craaaazzzyyy! ***

My defense - She looks fuckable in the video clip

Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguilera, Mya, Lil’ Kim and Pink

I hung my head in utter disbelief when my friend chose this song to be told out. Again, straight guys will never want anything to do with the Moulin Rouge except try to bonk the artistes there. And yet they will never confess that they like this song. I am not alone in this world, believe me.

My defense - C’mon… Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir… Voulez vous coucher avec moi… Plus I really, really wanna bonk all those four chicas.

Bagaikan Puteri by Farrah (oh was it Amy Mastura? I forgot)

Forgive me. I dunno what to say. Perhaps you’d like to jeer at me when I’m taking a walk at Star Hill?

My defense - She has a nice voice?

Mmm’Bop by Hanson

3 boys, all brothers. Singing kiddie songs. Plus an irritating youngest kid.

My defense - It has a catchy tune. Doo-wap!

Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) - Backstreet Boys

The mere mention of their names sends the message of being a member of the Backside Boys. I grew up with a cousin sister listening to them, goddamnit! Plus I blame Hitz.FM for playing the song repeatedly whenever I cut school to hang out in cyber cafes.

My defense - What about Larger Than Life? Read THIS

Heaven Is A Place On Earth - Belinda Carlisle

This song is very much reserved for chick flicks. With the exception of Harold & Kumar 2.

My defense - It’s a song about heaven on earth.

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

My ass kicking will go on even longer with the revealing of this song.

My defense - I saw none of you fuckers complain when you went to watch Titanic 27 times in the theater, right? Thought so.

So now, who doesn’t have the balls to display his secret list? I mean, part of the secret list.

And by doing so, I have opened myself to attacks.

Kill me now, please.