The Return of Pseudo-Nonsense

I have been away for a while. Quite a while, if I may say so. I was neck deep in office assignments which required my immediate attention. A web programmer’s work is never done. I’ve aledi had quite a number of people buzzing me using IM asking for updates. I didn’t know you guys loved my nonsense so much. Even now, as I am writing this nonsense, I have no idea where this article is gonna end. Heck, I don’t even know what topic am I writing here. Perhaps I’ll just call it “A Bunch of Nonsensical Stuff Put Together To Signal My Return”. You see now what kind of nonsense I am capable of coming up with.

Being nonsensical is easy. Anyone can do it. But being nonsensical while being able to make a point requires true skill. Like I do. This is what I call pseudo-nonsense. I already planning to do my post-graduate studies in this field. The thesis would consist of plenty of crude remarks, toilet jokes, and references to a certain political leader’s hair. After the presentation, I could be widely regarded as the pioneer for pseudo-nonsense. Political leaders from all around the world will be thronging to see me and get advice on how to blast their public with utter nonsense that will leave them to be staring blankly at each other and later go on running headlong into brick walls. I’d politely decline, however. I’ll just tell them to follow the Goblok-land government’s activities for a month and they’ll be saturated with nonsense so much that even they will be willing to run headlong into a brick wall.

Why do I say that? Easy. Just look at the headlines these past few days. In my absense, my readers have been thoroughly entertained by the Goblok politicians. Many rumours have surfaced on their little known backdoor activities. Let’s look at some of them now, shall we?

The Prime Minister of Goblok-land has been rumored to be headed to the world-famous Nasi Kandang Perth to study their budgeting methods. This is to prepare himself for the upcoming Goblok Budget on ways to overcome to high inflation rates. As we all know, Nasi Kandang shops have the uncanny ability to keep themselves afloat with their great monetary management techniques. All they need to do is raise the price of a plate of standard nasi kandang from Goblok Dollars 4.50 to Goblok Dollars 23.60 by providing a scrumptious meal consisting of bland rice, a wing from a sickly chicken (or crow; you’ll never know the difference), and some vegetables cooked in the age-old method of boiling them in salt water for 2 minutes.

The Goblok Home-Wrecking Minister (yes, the semi-balding dickhead) has decided to undertake computer classes as King Petra from the land of GoblokToday dot Net (no offence to King Petra) has undertaken the task to royally fuck the Goblok goverment’s ass with his keyboard and mouse. The grapevine gives us news that the semi-balding dickhead wants to take classes on how to access and use the Internet. It is said that he is very much puzzled on how did GoblokToday dot Net is still accessible being that the mighty Goblok Communications and Not-So-Multimedia Commission has ordered all the Internet Disservice Providers to block access to King Petra’s stronghold. When reporters mentioned of mirror sites, the semi-balding dickhead said that the only mirrors he knows of are the ones installed in his bedroom used to watch himself wanking while watching the famous Pramugara Terlampau porno.

The current Goblok-land’s supervillain, The Bomber, whose was last accused of using certain explosives to bomb foreign supermodels (which still remains unproven, or is it?), meanwhile is keeping mum following the failure of latest scheme to disintegrate Goblok-land. Captain Justice, Goblok-land current favourite superhero promising racial unity, was seen flying around in his superhero outfit swagging both middle fingers to The Bomber saying “How about a little shove up YOUR ass?!”. The Bomber had declined to comment on anything fearing the ridicule of the Goblok people.

Stay tuned for more happenings in Goblok-land. And more nonsense from me. I’m back.