A Brief History of Goblokland

Welcome to this Kav’s fake news section, inspired by Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show. I guess I’d be calling this Kavi’s The Sporadic Rambling Show. Coz I ain’t gonna be doing this everyday. You can bet your sweet Goblokland ass on it. So some people were actually asking me to make more of the weird parodies and spoofs of current affairs in Goblokland. Yeah, thanks a lot for the hundreds and hundreds of comments for the such previous posts. **snorts**

So, this being the first “official” week of me wanting to do this, first let’s do a revisit of such parodies, shall we? They are mostly grouped in two categories here at Kav’s Kollage, which are Pothead Stories, wich spoofs Harry Potter and The Interviews, which chronicles me and Kirim Singh Williya interviewing lesser known personalities from the Goblokland political arena. They are mostly tongue-in-cheek recollections of psychosis-inducing events in the fictional country Goblokland.

Last week’s ramble is more like the stuff I’d like to be doing. Coz I’m actually brain-dead from figuring out Harry Potter story tie-ins with Goblokland. And the interviews were getting stale. I felt like it was brushing up the Internal Stupid Act. Not that I’m of King Petra’s stature, of course. But it does make one fear, ya know. I don’t wanna be eating salted fish with stale rice at some weird camp that makes me vulnerable to penetration everytime I bend down to pick up a dropped bar of soap. God knows how slippery soap bars are.

So what do we have this week? I’ll start with a bried history of Goblokland.

In Goblokland, the Humans are the majority race, with the Elves holding economic prowess and a minor portion of Orcs holding small but important roles in aspects such as health, engineering and plantation. The Humans (a proud race), together with the Elves and Orcs (who are no lesser in pride compared to the Humans) who were brought in by the White-Devils from across the sea, worked the lands of Goblokland. Time came when Goblokland gained freedom from the clutches of the White-Devils and worked its way into the Earth’s developing nation status with impressive records.

Each race has its strength and weaknesses, though they managed to maintain a status quo that allowed them to live in harmony. Then the emerging of a new race somehow started to erode the relationships of the three main races, coupled with a host of dwarfs, munchkins and a host of other creatures inhabiting Goblokland. The new race, calling themselves the Politicos, sought to exploit each race’s weakness and provoke them into looking at each other with fear and despise.

The sour situation escalated slowly to the point of breaking. Just when the Politicos was at its prime, all the races banded together and staged a comeback against the Dark Lord Sleepyhead, who was the dummy chieftain of the fragile coalition of the Politicos and his second-in-command, The Bomber. They had not expected the uprising which cost the Politicos its pride and power, which was reduced drastically.

Captain Justice, came with a promise to return Goblokland to its former glory, but had to face several hurdles thrown in by the Politicos. Captain Justice, together with his League of Opposition Fighters (which includes the old but still able Uncle Rocket and The Turbaned Leader), managed to storm the Politicos’ house of law. They now sit, drubbing on tables, to see who can shout better. And also to represent their constituency in matters of national policies.

There. Hope you enjoyed this history lesson, kids. Tune in to next time for the latest news. Feel free to comment on any historical inaccuracies. Or anything else that you might wanna add. By the way, this is called a spoof or a parody. Thus it leaves everything to your own interpretation. Just don’t drop soap bars and leave your anus open to foreign insertion.