5 People/Groups That I’d Rather Have As The Prime Minister(s) of Malaysia

We all have received news that a certain someone is gonna be the future head of this great country. Well, we’re already fucked now, how much worse can it be? This hand-me-down “tradition” has gotta stop. The PM-ship ain’t some old T-Shirt to hand down in succession.

What if, in FANTASY, at least, we had our own choices of a Prime Minister? Here are 5 of my own choices (just a satire, of course). And I’ll be tagging 5 more people to do the same. That way, we can know how many of us actually have Najib on the list. At least in the blogosphere. My choices are:

Indi Nadarajah, Alan Pereira, Afdlin Shauki and Harith Iskandar (as joint leaders)

Who else can we expect to keep us amused? We all know the economy’s shot to shit, and we’re all fucked. The ship is sinking, mate! Even if these four comic geniuses fail to revive anything, it’s all still good. Might as well go down in a big fit of laughter, eh? We can have Indi and Alan giving a lesson to those elected fucktards on how to take a fucking joke without invoking ISA while Afdlin and Harith can try to somehow coax the uninspired public to carry themselves towards excellence with inspiring humour. Hey, that MIGHT fucking work!

Jalaluddin Hassan

That Sleepyhead currently in office takes decisions without informing us citizens of any other alternatives. How nice would it be, for once, we have a PM that informs us Malaysians of our choices whenever any decisions need to be made. It might sound kinda like this:

Jalaluddin: The government wants to inject a lot of money into a struggling football team in the 2nd Division League in England. What is the right course of action?

A) Go ahead with the plan and come back after a year posting losses
B) Feign ignorance that taxpayers money is being screwed with
C) Enroll as a crony 2 weeks later and get a huge payout
D) Shove a 2nd Division stick up their asses and demand for better management of funds

Citizen: Errr.. I choose D.
Jalaluddin: Are you sure?
Citizen: Yes……
Jalaluddin: And the correct answer is….. Coming after the commercial break!

Lillian Too

Perhaps our problems have been coz of bad feng shui for so long. Maybe we do not have proper alignment of elements in certain parts of the country. Fear not. Lillian Too can whip up a solution in a flash, and sell DVDs of her success sooner than you can say “What’s that fountain doing on the southeast corner?”. Malaysia’s very own Feng Shui Queen has a reputation that preceeds her, and you better listen to what she says. Perhaps she can direct the country into calmer waters with the proper placement of the 5 elements. Heck, even the parliament seatings can be adjusted to promote more harmony and lesser squabble, eh?

Bruce Wayne / Batman

That’s right. The Batman. Bruce Wayne is so fucking rich that he doesn’t need to have Nasi Kandar shops down under to finance himself. His airplane itself is so big that it has its own postcode. You’d have a PM who will fully utilize our national funds with maximum benefits. You don’t become a playboy billionaire with sloppy financiall handlings, do you? And that’s only the half of it, and it’s all only during the day. When night falls, our PM can become the most powerful bureaucratic superhero ever. Batman in Putrajaya. All criminals beware. You might be able to get away with murder with the right connections, but no one escapes from the Batman. He’ll hunt you down, strike fear into you just enough to piss your fucking pants and not to forget, hurt you. Like throwing you out of a building just enough to break your legs. You wanna buy submarines using dubious deals? Be prepared to end up as a live torpedo inside the submarine itself. You don’t fuck with Batman!

Myself

I ran out of ideas. Not to run the country. Just ran out of ideas to complete the list. But hey, I’m quite certain of my capabilities to become the PM. I have plenty of common sense. I’d be putting an economist and financial master at the helm of the Finance Ministry. Perhaps a decorated war hero, with proper knowledge of national defence strategies to run the Defence Ministry. And oh, I’m smart enough to listen to my Law Minister regarding matters of the law, not allow him to resign coz I slept around when I was supposed to be working. Last but not least, I don’t have a wannabe-politician as my Son-In-Law. I don’t even have a child yet.

So, here’s how the tag works. You tag 5 other people, as usual, like all other tags work. Simple as that. Just tag and tag and tag anyone you want la. Only one condition. Make sure you mention who tagged you (with a backlink) when you write your post. Here are my tags:

1. Antares from MagickRiver (I’d love to see your picks… Well, I’d love to know WHY you chose them more!)
2. Dante from For Tony Redgrave (Thought I’d leave you alone, is it?)
3. Durai OR Makkez from M1 Bloggers (Open the floodgates!)
4. Sabrina from Booby Rants (Any booby candidates?)
5. Balajoe from BJ Thoughts (I guess your son can also make the shortlist…)

Remember, you could be serious, or you can be satirical. It doesn’t matter.

1. The ideal Prime Minister of Malaysia « BJ Thoughts…