May you rot forever in the depths of hell and be tortured by the lord of death himself. These motherfuckers are practically plundering the nation’s wealth for so long. Now, when their racial and religious rhetorics are being exposed by the very people the rakyat supports, they drag them down under that infernal ISA and lock them up. Bastards, aren’t they? Haven’t they got the gumption to fucking defend themselves if they are truly innocent? They act as if they are the Judge, Jury and Executioner.

History is repeating. Ops Lalang is back again as the rifle of the goverment, with the government themselves pulling the trigger at whom they see fit. Raja Petra Kamaruddin, the man who so elequently bashes the guilty ones in the government with his words is in police custody. This man has taught us all so many lessons in life. This man stands for the truth. Even if his methods are questionable, heck, it gets the job done. The bastards up there just cook up a reason to detain him till he rots. Insults to Islam? That’s a laugh. Detention without trial is against Islam. What is the ISA then, dickheads?

Welcome to this Kav’s fake news section, inspired by Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show. I guess I’d be calling this Kavi’s The Sporadic Rambling Show. Coz I ain’t gonna be doing this everyday. You can bet your sweet Goblokland ass on it. So some people were actually asking me to make more of the weird parodies and spoofs of current affairs in Goblokland. Yeah, thanks a lot for the hundreds and hundreds of comments for the such previous posts. **snorts**

So, this being the first “official” week of me wanting to do this, first let’s do a revisit of such parodies, shall we? They are mostly grouped in two categories here at Kav’s Kollage, which are Pothead Stories, wich spoofs Harry Potter and The Interviews, which chronicles me and Kirim Singh Williya interviewing lesser known personalities from the Goblokland political arena. They are mostly tongue-in-cheek recollections of psychosis-inducing events in the fictional country Goblokland.

Last week’s ramble is more like the stuff I’d like to be doing. Coz I’m actually brain-dead from figuring out Harry Potter story tie-ins with Goblokland. And the interviews were getting stale. I felt like it was brushing up the Internal Stupid Act. Not that I’m of King Petra’s stature, of course. But it does make one fear, ya know. I don’t wanna be eating salted fish with stale rice at some weird camp that makes me vulnerable to penetration everytime I bend down to pick up a dropped bar of soap. God knows how slippery soap bars are.

So what do we have this week? I’ll start with a bried history of Goblokland.

Well, if you can’t call this racism, then we all might as well as go crawl under a rock and rot. This was highlighted in Rubenee’s blog.

Let me give you guys a brief summary here. These guys, Kelab Menyokong UMNO, have their little forum HERE, which is called “Gerbang Tempur Maya”, loosely translated as Virtual Battle Front (to my best understanding). There is this teensy-weensy topic entitled “Statistik Pilihanraya:Kempen boikot semua calon-calon India“, translated as “Election Statistics: Campaign to boycott all Indian candidates”.

Now, they are practically bashing up all Malaysian Indian citizens (and also the Chinese Malaysians) to kingdom come. I’ll let you read for yourself to have a clearer picture of the whole issue at hand here. Bunched up with a liberal usage of the word “Keling” (albeit being used in variations; never directly), this forum topic is a very, very serious matter. The first post was made on Friday, Nov 30, 2007 at 2:55 pm (server time) and the last reply is on Thursday, Dec 06, 2007 at 11:03 am (server time).

Let’s see here. I have some people asking me why do I still live with my parents. I’d give them the answer straight away, but it’s often not so easy when they ask you in a tone much similar like “Hey, didn’t you use my toilet last year and clogged it up with your massive amount of biological waste?”. When confronted with such tones of voice, you’ll try hard to give a plausible answer that doesn’t seem to make you look like a loser who’s sitting at the couch all day long without paying any rent to your parents. And that’s is where the person asking you the question will raise one of his eyebrow at you and smile sarcastically, thinking that you’re a loser who’s sitting at the couch all day long without paying any rent to your parents.

Sudah 51 tahun kita bebas daripada dikuasai oleh penjajah asing. Namun, sudah juga 51 tahun kita dibelenggu dengan pemerintahan berdasarkan bangsa, etnik dan agama. Mengapa saya, di hari ini, menulis menggunakan Bahasa Malaysia? Ini merupakan bahasa kebangsaan negara tersayangku. Sudah 51 tahun negaraku tidak dikuasai pihak lain, tetapi sudah juga 51 tahun negaraku mencacatkan diri sendirinya dengan polisi-polisi berat sebelah, kronisme, dan pentadbiran yang tidak cekap.